tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post6288687806705464697..comments2023-08-21T15:36:43.005+02:00Comments on Rosemary Bailey Brown's Married to a Serb Blog: And So It's Divorce...Rosemary Bailey Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530156794927503553noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-15416943680114372992013-02-21T00:35:20.828+01:002013-02-21T00:35:20.828+01:00Ack! My darn typos. Of course, that should say &...Ack! My darn typos. Of course, that should say "Serbian" and not "Seriban".Steeny Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11886224738812704532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-39909400732051783332013-02-21T00:33:48.162+01:002013-02-21T00:33:48.162+01:00Hmmm... Mr. Anonymous, I don't know if I'd...Hmmm... Mr. Anonymous, I don't know if I'd blame the fact that she's Serbian. I'm only half Serbian and I don't think I'm at all like the way you describe (except for being tall and good-looking - LOL!)<br /><br />My dad, who is 100% Seriban, has his own set of attitudes, some of which match with the description you give of your wife, but his relatives in Serbia with whom I've had contact are nothing at all like him.<br /><br />Steeny Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11886224738812704532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-36600701010188853222013-01-18T02:16:03.416+01:002013-01-18T02:16:03.416+01:00Ive been with a Serbian woman 15 years. Bosnian-s...Ive been with a Serbian woman 15 years. Bosnian-serb. She can be wonderful and charming and is of course tall and good looking. But she can also be arrogant, brutally rude, toally self centred and a very good liar.<br /><br />I encouraged her to speak Serbian to our children and she used it finally as a means of being able to speak to them without me understanding. She minimises the wrong she does and maximises the good. If she is hurt or offended she goes into silent sulks for days. She never ever apologises for anything and never forgets any slight or insult against her. <br />She will act as if it is forgotten but she will bring it up many times later. <br />Her family are/were fantastic but you only hear from them when they need something.<br />She was very good at doing things that were wrong and then blaming her actions on me because she did them in response. She never took any kind of responsibility for hurt or damage she caused. She was very good at charming people into doing things for her and was very good at using people. She expects a man to provide for her in a tradtional serbian way but then will not take on the traditional womans role - picking and choosing from the Balkans and West society to suit herself. <br /><br />She would wih she was with a serb but her sister was and they were divorced before us. Her sister would parade in front of me half naked or in see through lingerie. No values. <br /><br />Thank God you did not have children. It is a personal experience that you can walk away from and dont have to carry on contact. <br /><br />Take care. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-15334845846710382012012-02-17T07:41:20.881+01:002012-02-17T07:41:20.881+01:00Oops, I forgot to click the box for "email fo...Oops, I forgot to click the box for "email followup comments..." so just adding this to do so.Steeny Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11886224738812704532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-64677676871064325052012-02-17T07:40:42.193+01:002012-02-17T07:40:42.193+01:00I guess this means you will not be posting anythin...I guess this means you will not be posting anything new? And I just discovered this blog tonight, having seen a link for it here:<br /><br />http://canadianinserbia.blogspot.com/2007/09/observation.html<br /><br />I wrote a little humorous blog entry which you might appreciate. My dad is Serbian but has lived here in Canada since he was about 20, in the 1950s, long before my birth. He has still not lost his heavy Serbian accent.<br /><br />Here's a link to my Serbo-Canadian silliness: http://holy-sheepdip.blogspot.com/2012/02/g-magazine.htmlSteeny Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11886224738812704532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-34411232059995278562011-10-27T23:15:07.431+02:002011-10-27T23:15:07.431+02:00well I know you close your blog but I will like to...well I know you close your blog but I will like to make a comment. <br />Note: Im sorry if my english is not so good because Im not american.<br />Actually I'm latin married to a serb and we are living in my country. I think it will be hard for any different culture to get a long since the marriage itself its complicated but for some reason I think IT HAS BEEN HARD. I mean latin womens we are not easy going, a little bit to passionate. We dont want to let go the small things. but serbs They are stubborn and the sense of "victim-hood" totally agree. The few times I met his friends we didnt get along so much....who knows maybe was just me. Saying what I think and say my point of view. Who knows. We are trying to solve our problems, trying to get along. I hope I dont get a divorce because I love him but as you say if its like that life goes on and we have to make the best of it. Thanks for the blog. Now Im reading and understanding a little bit more. =)annethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14103647712838956700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-63761902766354325842011-10-01T11:26:08.571+02:002011-10-01T11:26:08.571+02:00I hope that you keep blogging somewhere about some...I hope that you keep blogging somewhere about something. I love your writing! <br /><br />Good luck with everything!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-34057365359552582772011-09-10T19:13:34.554+02:002011-09-10T19:13:34.554+02:00First, I want to say that I am one of many here wh...First, I want to say that I am one of many here who have stated that they read and enjoyed your blogs but wrote nothing; just appreciated your words, insights and stories. But what brought me here today is that I wanted to re-read some of your blogs as I will be in my beloved Belgrade in two weeks, and I needed a "pep" talk of sorts, as my Serb man of three years and I parted ways in July and I really do not fully understand why. AND what really helped me were your words that "sometimes something good must end so something great can enter" and maybe this will happen to me when I am there. Bless you, dear lady, and I hope, too, that when you find your "something great", you will again share that experience with us! HVALA!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-12450812594921648802011-08-20T04:15:04.296+02:002011-08-20T04:15:04.296+02:00Honestly, I have no idea how I ended up on your bl...Honestly, I have no idea how I ended up on your blog... But I am really sorry to hear about your divorce.<br />I read a dozen of your posts in mere minutes; some were really harsh (but true!), other made me laugh and for that I thank you!<br />I am a Serb, as you may have guessed so far, one of those teens you described even though I'm 23!), I'm someone who hates everything about this country, but now, after reading your blog, your thoughts about it - your optimistic attitude about it, it makes me not hate it a bit less :) That's another thing about us Serbs, we almost never see the good in things until someone else points it to us. <br />Anyway, you're shutting it down? Just my luck! :)<br />Hope that you're ok, that you had a lovely experience in Serbia and that you'll visit...<br />BaneStoryTellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13280020397952209201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-79666090869934107532011-06-24T04:02:23.210+02:002011-06-24T04:02:23.210+02:00I hope there will be one more post here telling us...I hope there will be one more post here telling us where your next blog is! I am so sorry to hear this and I hope at some point you have enough emotional distance from it that you can keep visiting Serbia. I'm an American who loves Sombor and Novi Sad. You can definitely navigate them, at least as a visitor, with very little Srpski.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-20456993406859910402011-06-23T14:58:23.252+02:002011-06-23T14:58:23.252+02:00I wish you luck, happiness, and a speedy journey o...I wish you luck, happiness, and a speedy journey over this "bump in the road." You blog was inspiration for my move to Belgrade and to start my own blog. I hope you keep writing-please let us know if you start a new blog/book!RHOBhttp://www.realhousewifeofbelgrade.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-29206475312430739142011-06-21T10:27:32.469+02:002011-06-21T10:27:32.469+02:00Dear Rosemary, I'm so saddened to hear the new...Dear Rosemary, I'm so saddened to hear the news. i have to admit though, that i admire your resolve and courage to see that things weren't working, and to end the relationship before you got bitter. (That is another way in which the srbi and the jenki differ!) I will miss reading your blog and i hope that you will not sever ties with your adopted countries entirely. I wish you all the best in whichever direction life takes you, Olja.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-34451585083769451992011-06-21T09:38:06.226+02:002011-06-21T09:38:06.226+02:00you`ll be fine, you are strong woman with great se...you`ll be fine, you are strong woman with great sense of humor. Wish you the best. Tank you for helping me to see us from the other angle. <br /><br />regards from BelgradeVanya 011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-17164954459929096942011-06-18T11:28:06.566+02:002011-06-18T11:28:06.566+02:00That's really unfortunate. :(That's really unfortunate. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-29561665162851652422011-06-16T02:10:04.387+02:002011-06-16T02:10:04.387+02:00Dearest Rosemary,
I've really enjoyed your blo...Dearest Rosemary,<br />I've really enjoyed your blog and it has truly helped me understand the many differences between myself and my husband (Croatian). I am sorry if things have truly had to end for you two. <br />I know that my own similar marriage is incredibly difficult. There are bright spots and fun (he's the best in one category for sure) but the daily differences on tiny basic things are so stressful. Living with the constant uncertainty of when and what will trigger the next sudden outburst.. well, that really is wearing on one. <br />You have my deepest sympathy and understanding as well as best wishes. Hugs :)Bubamaranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-1995551013771733622011-06-05T23:36:05.811+02:002011-06-05T23:36:05.811+02:00Oh, no! Rosemary, I'm sorry to hear this. I...Oh, no! Rosemary, I'm sorry to hear this. I've been reading your posts for a few years. Good luck to you, and please keep blogging even if it's on a different subject. You're a good writer.Jessicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-25958269147983674682011-06-03T23:01:26.225+02:002011-06-03T23:01:26.225+02:00I am a Serbian girl, dating an American. He 'd...I am a Serbian girl, dating an American. He 'discovered' your blog some time ago in his search of materials about Serbia. Since then we are your faithful followers. It has been such a pleasure reading your posts. As someone already said, your observations are truly insightful. They made us analyze our differences on a deeper level, especially since we are planning to get married and possibly move to Serbia. Your posts raise some very important questions and issues for those in multicultural relationships.<br />Serbia is still there. Being such a wonderful person I believe you are, you will always be welcome there. We love Amerikanke like you. I feel that Serbs need more of that - your straightforwardness, honesty, confidence, etc. <br />I can't even express how bad I feel to hear your news. I wish you the best of luck in your life journey. :-)Tamaranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-10553413253890094872011-06-03T20:21:11.143+02:002011-06-03T20:21:11.143+02:00Glad to see I wasn't the only one with a negat...Glad to see I wasn't the only one with a negative impression of this guy (I'm the "spinal tap" commentator and was starting to feel guilty about it). <br />Cultural differences are such a complex area and cannot all be simply filed under one label. Nationality and ethnicity play a big role only if that's where you as a human being primarily place your identity. A Serbian geek might have more in common with an American geek than with a fellow Serb with different interests. Understanding each other's origins is certainly important but not enough. You have to go beyond those very broad, general markers and transcend them to really connect with someone. That goes for any couple of any nationality. "Speaking each other's language" applies just as well when both parties share the same native language. That being said, a lack of basic literal understanding can cover up a lot as well. It all comes out eventually, one way or another. <br />I enjoyed your blog very much and I hope you find joy and happiness wherever life takes you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-1604187516809267902011-06-02T06:51:22.064+02:002011-06-02T06:51:22.064+02:00So sorry to hear the news Rosemary, but it seems i...So sorry to hear the news Rosemary, but it seems its all for the best. Goodluck, I enjoyed the blog over the years!jejunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-13782470713884246382011-06-01T14:16:51.889+02:002011-06-01T14:16:51.889+02:00I have to agree with the Spinal Tap comment, and I...I have to agree with the Spinal Tap comment, and I'm a Serb too. My first thought was, man, that's a fine specimen of homo peasanticus balcanicus primitivus. Sometimes behaves unpredictably when removed from its natural habitat, but almost always easy to spot in a crowd. Must have some *hidden* qualities though that somehow attract the ladies if you get my drift.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-28481017192167633762011-06-01T13:49:00.856+02:002011-06-01T13:49:00.856+02:00Very sorry to hear about that. Been through divor...Very sorry to hear about that. Been through divorce myself fifteen years ago and it really sucks. It will get better, trust me.<br /><br />My Serbian wife and I often discuss if it is better to be with somebody of your own kind. As she puts it: "you could marry a moose and go back to Canada". These cross-cultural relationships are seemingly always explosive and entertaining at the same time, and as you rightly point out, you get a lot out of them even if they (sadly) end.<br /><br />Take care, keep your chin up, and keep blogging. You have a following.Rob R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03058352641853569258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-63851053107148549662011-06-01T05:36:57.066+02:002011-06-01T05:36:57.066+02:00Could the marriage be saved? There is no perfect r...Could the marriage be saved? There is no perfect relationship.. Why so sudden? It seems like yesterday you were excited about buying a flat. It can be stressfull the process of buying it... I wish you all the best and if possible please reconsider (both) your decision. Unless there is violence in the marriage I would reconsider you had too many good memories it seems to me. In any case I wish you and your husband all the best. Even though I don`t know you I believe you guys are ment to stay together and this is just a passing phase. I am looking forward to reading the future post titled "divorce is off" In the psychology books the marriage goes through crisis 1,3,7 year and after that usualy it is smooth sailing... hang in there and use conflict mediation skills... It can be repaired.... best wishes NinaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-58840652937851043092011-05-31T21:44:58.064+02:002011-05-31T21:44:58.064+02:00I truly enjoyed your blog as you had a perspective...I truly enjoyed your blog as you had a perspective on Serbs that can only come from someone outside the culture. As a Serbian America, I found that you wrote things which were truly insightful and funny and at times very funny. I am sorry you could not make the marriage work, but being married to a Serb is not easy. We are the greatest people and at the same time, our own worst enemies. I wish you the best!John Medannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-49917953156756525892011-05-31T20:09:03.974+02:002011-05-31T20:09:03.974+02:00He's a punk! Simple as that, and I'm a Ser...He's a punk! Simple as that, and I'm a Serb. His poor English shielded him for too long. Not getting "This is Spinal Tap"? That's a ground for divorce right there!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1583964906309382179.post-87138857117491561932011-05-31T17:01:08.418+02:002011-05-31T17:01:08.418+02:00I second previous comments' on making a book a...I second previous comments' on making a book about this. I've read your blog for 3-4 years now and would be sad to see you quit. I wish you well and am very sorry to hear about your breakup. Whatever you do, don't stop writing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com